On the Live Abundantly Podcast today, Jacquelene Hayes is speaking with Sarah Scott. Sarah is a wife, mom and certified positive discipline parent educator and parenting coach.
She is sharing what she knows about simple self care and self kindness ideas for frazzled moms who want to make a change in how they show up for their family.
She also created a guide to not losing your cool during those tough parenting moments called 5 Steps to Keep Calm While Parenting that has helped moms change the way they interact with their children.
How did you get into positive discipline?
Sarah says “about 3-4 years ago, I was that parent who was just ‘losing it’ all the time and didn’t know what to do about it. I didn’t have any tools and that was just causing me to sink deeper and deeper into a hole of ‘I must be the worst mom in the world’ and just not having any confidence in my parenting. I really just found that I needed to change something.
As I started to work on myself and become more self-aware of what was going on in my internal emotions and that sort of thing, I decided that I really needed a parenting philosophy that fit with who I was. Something that would be me as “kind mom” and not “freak mom.”
Positive discipline stood out to Sarah because:
1. You’re being kind, but firm.
2. It encourages you to show your children how capable and confident they can be.
Sarah says that one of the first things to understand is that when your kids misbehave, they’re actually sending you a message. They’re not trying to be little jerks. Their brains are not fully developed to be able to communicate how they’re feeling or the insecurities that they have so they try to get your attention or help through lashing out, misbehaving or doing the things that irritate us.
If you think of an iceberg, the misbehavior is just the tip of the iceberg.
The reason for it is deep under the water.
It’s our job, as parents, to de-code the message that they’re sending us and get curious enough to go deeper, under the misbehavior to find out what the cause behind it is. Quite often, the reason is that the child doesn’t feel connected or belonging.
Take a positive time-out, also known as, cool-off time.
CONNECT WITH SARAH:
Instagram – @parentingsolutionfinders
GETTING TO KNOW SARAH:
Favorite family vacation: Greece!
Favorite coffee drink: Straight-up latte… but better with Biscotti!
Next family vacation: Panama!
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